The Elixir of Love

WHAT is it about love that we crave it beyond all else? Sure, we can attempt to fill the void with everything from food, substances, shopping, co-dependency, projection, unclear boundaries, blame, sex and habits in between and beyond. I certainly have leaned in all of those  directions in my personal pursuits. Our past, including our early childhood family mapping, carves out the ways we long for and are driven to attract and hold on, sometimes desperately to love. These trodden neural, emotional and  energetic pathways are often the best indicators for where we long for healing, and shifting of vantage points to experience healthy love, the kind that allows two individuals, grounded in themselves, to come together and elevate each other and, in doing so, expand their potentials for creativity. 

NEW love is exhilarating and intoxicating, there is no comparable feeling and no substitute. It is like being lifted to the heavens in a state of ecstasy where we remember the sweetness of life, where colors are more vivid, where we easily find the humor in our day to day existence. When we find it, we wonder how long we could have been in the desert without it. Like Stevie Nicks romanticized  in Sara, “Drowning in the sea of love Where everyone would love to drown.” It is a true elixir. 

AS  love evolves, there often comes with it what I humorously refer to as the “roller coaster” effect. I have a pretty strong fear of heights and i can remember being on a roller coaster some years ago in NJ. It was the largest roller coaster there and I had a seat by myself at the front. As the ride climbed to it’s apex, I started to panic with the idea that my seat wasn’t fully secured. In a moment of crazy, I desperately tried to get out. All I wanted to do was get off the ride. I was terrified, but I could not get off! This is a rather accurate snapshot of what I feel like at times in my own relationships. Can you relate? All the places of fear and distrust that start to pop up in the most absurd of ways. 

How can we heal and transform those places of unconscious negativity that show up in many, many ways — the desire to control, run away or hide in silence avoiding the truths we need to speak? How can we allow the elixir of love to enter deeply  those places of past hurt and disappointment, to open our hearts and receive it’s healing magic. How do we stay in the power of the present moment without being stuck in the past or projecting towards  the future?  For me, I am great at giving, over giving and then pulling away as my own fears of intimacy get triggered, like buttons pushed on the television remote. My observer self holds this awareness and yet I hold a greater awareness. When we open ourselves to become vulnerable and receive the love, the elixir can move through us with the power and might of transformation like no other. 

Test Drive This Ritual to Open your Heart to Receive 

You will need:

A pink candle

Pink Rose

Glass of water 

Small piece of rose quartz (cleansed and dropped into your glass of water)

Paper & Pen

Aromatherapy to Open your Heart

This recipe is similar, but not exact to ———-

1 drop of rose otto (Rosa damascena)

1 drop jasmine (Jasmin grandiflorum)

1 drop neroli (Citrus aurantium)

in 1 tsp of jojoba. 

You may also choose the Divine Mother Anointing Oil with neroli, jasmine and rose otto 

Goddess: Divine Mother

Music: The Rose-Bette Midler, Pachabel’s Canon

Affirmation: I allow myself to give and receive love.


Take a deep breath.. Sit peacefully, light your candle while invoking the presence of Divine Mother, the mother goddess of all, and invite her into your heart. Now pick up your rose quartz and set your intention for it to open your heart to healing and allow love to enter your life more deeply. Inhale from the palms of your hands, anoint your heart. On paper, write down your hearts’ desires to experience deeper, fuller, more joyful, passionate, creative love in your life. Then inhale your essential oil formula again while FEELING what that would be like for you, breathe those feelings into your heart and let them fill your being and cells with their potency. Drink your rose quartz crystal infused water to activate your heart center with it’s loving vibration.  This part of the practice is paramount as it drives and fuels our creative force. Even if you are flooded with tears, let them flow, they, too are paving your path. Anoint your paper when complete and on the next new moon, find a place within the earth to plant it as a most precious seed. 

Nancy Hayes