The Power of Trust, Faith & Surrender

These three power words hold a tremendous amount of energy, seeded in our belief systems, family heritage and the collective consciousness. These seeds root and expand in our lives through experience, imagery and emotional response that carries both a negative and positive charge.

Since the majority of my reflection this month is focused on love, let’s start there. As a woman now in my mid-forties, I would consider myself a veteran in the relationship arena. I’ve more than one marriage under my belt as well as a myriad of longer, shorter, complex, easy, heart-opening, heart-breaking and most gradations of relationships in between. So, here’s my question: Regardless of our age, how do we TRUST ANOTHER not to hurt us again? AND, perhaps an even bigger question: How do we TRUST OURSELVES? How can I trust that my discernment has evolved and improved ? How can I trust what I feel is clear and authentic? Is it creating a healthy dynamic and response or is it rooted in the patterns of past experience and or observation? Another big question: how can I trust what I interpret my partner to be thinking and feeling and is it rooted in reality? Can I genuinely hear my own heart or his? These questions often lead to shaky ground.  What is real? Perception is 9/10 of reality!

In a relatively new relationship, about a year in, I still see my trust issues pop up like a wild, frightened animal. I’ve had to train myself to step back, and look at it as an observer, vs. the emotionally reactive, old pattern-bound aspect of myself, the me from the past.  Can you relate to this?

When we have places of unresolved trauma inside of us, they continue to project the pain of past experience, as well the EXPECTATION that we will be hurt again. That negative anticipation often compels us to act out in unfavorable ways, where we sabotage the potential goodness of our relationships, pushing away the love before we even allow it to fully bloom inside our hearts.  There is the flip side, of course, where we want to believe the relationship we are in is one of bliss, ignoring the red flags our gut is picking up on!

A teacher once illuminated a powerful idea that continues to be a voice in my head today, ready for it? Here it is:

We are either present or in pattern, period.

Take a minute to let that sink in and invite yourself to get grounded in reality, to check in and then check yourself! Inside us all is a deep voice of wisdom, It always tells us the truth if we are ready to listen.   So, where does faith come in? We toss around this word in so many ways. Either “I have complete faith, no faith, a little bit of faith” etc much of it flowing by way of distortion-much of that comes from performance-based faith. I’ll have faith once I see, feel, experience some sign, omen or miracle that defies my mundane existence. What does it mean to have both faith in ourselves and also in something greater than that?

How do you experience faith, outside the confines of dogmatic philosophy? Or do you long for this connection to have greater definition in your current day to day? A moment of clarity here. Many confuse the term hope with faith. I say hope is similar to the word try. It is a half-in-half out attitude, separating our intention from a place of personal ownership and certainty.  From my perspective neither come from a paradigm of empowerment. Faith is a KNOWING of TRUST from deep within, from our very core and cells that we are seen, embraced and supported by presence that far outreaches our everyday awareness.

Let’s look at the concept of surrender. Many think of surrender as a submissive experience, having to ultimately acquiesce to another individual’s will or their limited expectation of who we are or should be. As a highly willful individual myself, the concept of surrender has consistently bumped up against my rough edges. I’ve spent a good part of my life relying on my more masculine and forceful nature to push forward and create things based on my own agenda and timeline. This type of force is not sustainable and is certainly exhaustive. As we evolve through the layers of our pain, personality aspects and unresolved emotion, we continually have an opportunity to up level our experience of surrender. In “right relationship”, we have the ability to surrender to our higher aspects of being and that which is greater than ourselves, relinquishing our need to control every experience and outcome, person and relationship in our lives.

How can we reflect upon, transform and elevate our own personal interpretations of trust, faith and surrender to create the secret sauce of our most successful, empowered living?

Test out this hypothesis:

Honest personal relationship to above said concepts (journal it out!) + intention to thrive beyond our current experience (add the essential oil formula here via inhalation) + opening unto the Divine within and all around us (add your affirmation below) =Your SS (secret sauce)

Aromatherapy  Formula for Trust, Faith & Surrender

2 drops German Chamomile (Matricaria recutita)

1 drop Neroli (Citrus aurantium)

1 drop Patchouli (Pogostemon cablin)

Dilute into 1 tsp jojoba oil. Inhale a few drops from palms of hands while internally repeating your intention. Anoint your crystal and begin the practice of journaling to distill your special sauce.

Crystal- Amethyst

Affirmation “I surrender to the Divinity within and all around me. I AM that I AM.”

Music Train “Calling All Angels , Loreena McKennitt, “The Mystic’s Dream”


Nancy Hayes