Loving Me is Loving you

Loving Me is Loving You


I view self-love as a portal for great transformation, as a bridge for our highest, wisest and most vibrant selves to evolve and dance across. Self-love is a crucial component for creating and nurturing the healthy, joyous relationships we desire. Our relationship with self defines all others in our lives. Our inner landscape is filled with peaks and valleys of past experiences still shaping our current day reality. The valleys of unresolved emotion that are held in the subconscious mind, filter our perception of reality and our ability to relate to ourselves and others in emotionally healthy ways.

Take some time out to reflect on your core relationships. Consider how kind, gentle and loving you are with yourself. What about your patterns of self care and self-talk? This speaks volumes on how you model your expectations and judgements of those around you.

Next, take an honest assessment of your primary dynamics in relationship—your significant other, children, parents and siblings and colleagues. We can begin to see our own patterns popping up for better or worse amongst these bonds, all present in our lives for a reason, to teach and transform our inner landscape. My personal journey is choc full of lessons on self-love and countless opportunities for both forgiveness and profound gratitude. My tendency to overwork, overdo, overcompensate, over care-take, over-give, and full on over-exert would bring me to states of resentment, sadness and exhaustion where I would find myself in a desiring to escape from a deep ocean of depression and isolation. In turn, my expectation of others was off the charts unrealistic, and I would find myself perpetually disappointed to the point where I would stop expecting anything and begin the cycle again.  

Many years ago I heard the story Dr. Hew Len and Ho’oponopono. I have incorporated it in my personal practice and teachings with compelling positive response.  In a nutshell, Dr. Len, is a Hawaiian psychologist who based on the philosophy that we are 100 percent personally responsibile for our life and experiences. He worked as a therapist in a Hawaiian State Hospital, specifically with the criminally insane, yet he never saw a patient in person. He would sit with their files and the expressed intention of self-healing, a powerful practice of self-love. From the perspective that we are responsible for everything in our life-he would reflect inward, bringing healing to the point within himself that created that person or circumstance and silently repeating, “I’m sorry.” and “I love you.” As he healed, his patients healed. As we heal the places of pain and dis-ease within ourselves, those around are healed. It is a universal principle and a facet of alchemy. It allows the concept of “right relationship” to flow and breathe life into our hearts and those that surround us. The one thing we want more than anything, whether or not we are aware of or admit is to LOVE. To love ourselves, even when it isn’t easy to, to learn how to love others in healthy ways, based on who they are as individuals vs who we want them to be, and, as importantly to learn how to allow ourselves to receive love.

We are the blooming rose of summer, the seed planted deep within our hearts. The intentional practices of self-love and self-care allow the bloom and fragrance of our hearts to fully unfold. When we leave out these two fundamental components, we miss the sun and water that allows the bounty of the harvest to flourish.

How can we create a simple yet consistent intentional practice of self-love and self-care? Here are a couple of my favorite practices. What are yours?


Ho’oponopono Self Love Ritual


Loving Me Aroma Blend

1 drop of geranium (Pelargonium graveolens)

1 drop rose (Rosa damascena)

1 drop blood orange (Citrus x sinensis)

In 1 tsp jojoba. Inhale from palms and apply to your heart.

Crystal-Rose Quartz

Affirmation:” I love myself unconditionally. Taking good care of my holistic health empowers my passion and purpose.”

Music: “Eyes of the World” The Grateful Dead,  


After inhaling your aromatherapy blend. Pick up your rose quartz in your left hand. Choose an area of your life where you are having conflict or challenge. Imagine your heart emanating a pink light, while saying, “To the place within that has created this, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” Repeat this until you feel a shift within yourself. You can then move on to another area of your life. Notice and journal over the next days how those situations and relationships have shifted.


Renewal Facial Mask

Up level your self care practices with this natural and easy DIY

You will need:

Cacao-powdered-antioxidant, high in Vit C, Omega 6

Coconut Oil-pure, extra virgin, cold-pressed-moisturizing, antimicrobial, reduces inflammation, high in Fatty Acids

Payapa-high in vitamins, minerals, natural enzymes

Scoop out seeds and a small amount of papaya flesh, add 1 tbl cacao and 1 tbl coconut oil. Mix in a small blender.

After washing face with warm water and your favourite cleanser, apply your facial and leave on for 10-12 minutes. Your skin may tingle as the natural enzymes are exfoliating to rejuvenate your skin to a bright glow. If you experience a burning sensation due to more sensitive skin, rinse immediately.   Rinse with warm water and apply your favorite toner and moisturizer.



Adora Winquist